Stu’s Place

SUPERMAN IS DEAD

Superman, our world’s greatest hero, was killed today after protecting Metropolis from a creature called “Doomsday”. Reports say that Superman was unconscious when he was taken to Metropolis Hospital. He was declared dead shortly after arrival.

Metropolis Police Chief William Kirby told Planet reporters that the Man of Steel was critically injured during a battle with “Doomsday”, a bizarre creature that had landed on Earth hours before. Further details about the creature are still unknown.  In a rare statement to the press, Gotham’s Batman expressed his shock upon hearing the news. ”I never thought this would happen,” the Batman said. “He was truly the greatest hero we’ve ever had. He was like a brother to me.”  Superman had worked with the Batman multiple times, most notably last year to fight the “Joker”, a psychotic criminal from Gotham.

Superman came to Earth in 1938, the last survivor of the planet Krypton. Earth’s molecular structure gave Superman nearly unlimited powers, which he always used for good. In 1960, Superman co-founded the Justice League of America, along with the Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, the Flash, Green Lantern, and the Martian Manhunter. The remainder of the Justice League came to Superman’s aid during his final battle. It is unknown whether the Justice League will look for a replacement.

From The Daily Planet.

North Korea threatened on Wednesday to “wipe out” the United States in the event of a new war on the Korean Peninsula, as international observers watched for signs the regime would perform new missile tests in the coming days.

The warning came as a U.S. navy destroyer was tracking a North Korean ship suspected of attempting to transport illicit weapons to Burma. The pursuit is seen as the first test of sanctions passed by the UN Security Council as a response to Pyongyang’s underground nuclear test in late May.

North Korea has said it would consider an interception to be a declaration of war. On Wednesday, it accused the U.S. of seeking to provoke another Korean War.

“If the U.S. imperialists start another war, the army and people of Korea will … wipe out the aggressors on the globe once and for all,” the official Korean Central News Agency said.

Kim: “Shit, Iran’s getting all the attention! …WE WILL WIPE THE US OF THE FACE OF THE EARTH SHOULD THEY START ANOTHER KOREAN WAR! …Yeah, that outta do it.”